What Thanks?

With deepest regards to Ann Voskamp.

 

Gratitude in the midst of suffering. Eucharisteo. Choosing to accept the bad as well as the good, seeing them as parts of the same whole.

Shadows teach us to appreciate the light. Rain make us grow. Winter bids us rest. Pain wakes us up. “Thank God for the dirty dishes/ They have a tale to tell/ While others may go hungry/ We’re eating very well.”

I repeat Scripture and truisms, but my heart wears heavy pain. I speak praises and affirm faith from a node of agony. I endure; I do not thrive. I do not count this joy. I hate the gifts and shove them from me. I would rather lie numb and shocky than wake up to recovery. I do not want pain or anything that comes from it.

Healing comes after admitted injury. Healing requires playing the deal. I left the cards on the table abandoned without backward glancing. I so nearly fell off the edge of the world.

To be thankful for all that? All this? To lift drenched eyes and clenching-bruised hands and say, “God’s grace!” To feel the sliced-edged beating heart and proclaim, “He is good!” To wrap empty arms around empty self and declare, “Love everlasting!” Can I do such a thing? Can I not and live?

How dare God require smiles and cheer from shattering? How dare the surgeon require movement from the broken limb? Healing requires movement. Gratitude propels us out of our misery. We would coddle our pains until natural healing leaves us warped and unable to use. Divine healing realigns the edges for stronger repair and restoration.

We see the whole when we lift our eyes away from anguish and turn to gratitude’s dawn.

What Is Love?

In case you hadn’t heard, I’m on G+ all the fragging time now, and I make a lot of nifty posts over there. Here’s one I thought I should repost here.

 

Love is a many-splendored thing, as one man said. It’s hard to define and indeed resists definition, which would box it in and perhaps make it both less and more than it is.

In modern times (the only time about which I may speak with any authority), we confuse other emotions, thoughts, reactions, and responses with love. Attraction is not inherently love. Lust is no inherently love. Caring is not inherently love. All of these things partake in and contribute to love, but one alone is not necessarily love.

I would posit that “in love” is not the same as “to love.” “In love” refers to all the things listed above and more, which we seldom have initial control over. We can be attracted to persons we do not love and do not intend “to love.”

I would say that LOVE occurs after we first choose, of our will and minds, to accept love and second begin exploring and permitting all those other aspects in our hearts and bodies. It is an action of the entire being, not of one over or excluding the others. It is not merely a choice or action, for who wants base duty with no affection? It is not merely emotion, which “ever changes in [its] monthly orb,” or a physical response, which reduces the object of love to … well, a mere object.

LOVE requires each of us to give all of ourselves to the one we love. Granted, we must not lose ourselves or give over who and what we are; that is indeed a disservice to our beloved. Mindless obeisance does no one any good. I suggest that most of us would eventually be sick of a lover who was no person in his/her own right. LOVE is both giving and getting.

The order of events is entirely subjective. At one time, we experience intense emotional and/or physical interaction that grows into a conscious choice to become more. At another time, we experience a deliberate shift in thinking that leads to the flowering of affection and physical attraction. Most of the time, we have no idea what the frack is going on.

So my opinion, humble or otherwise, is that LOVE encompasses every part of ourselves. It is a matter of will, mind, heart, and body working together to sustain the ultimate of relationship experiences. It is not a thing to hold lightly, and it is the greatest risk we could possibly take. A time may come when we must distance ourselves from a LOVE because of some circumstance, such as infidelity, abuse, or death. A time may come when we must again chance on LOVE, requiring some injured part of our whole to grow once more.

LOVE is, indeed, many-splendored.

Be sure to read the original discussion on G+.

Oh, the Humanity

As much as possible, I try to live at peace with others. I don’t seek out opportunities to get into fights, I ignore attempts to goad me, and I’m as encouraging as I can be.

But every now and again, my dander gets itself up and I start making waves. Today shall be one of those times.

I will say without hesitation or wavering that I am pro-life. The only two instances in which I would agree to an abortion are 1) if the baby is already dead or 2) the mother’s life is at real risk. That’s it. Not in cases of rape or incest, not in the case of physical or mental retardation, and certainly not in cases of inconvenience. No one should be forced to pay for someone else’s mistake.

If you’ve read any of my writing, then you know I care about the welfare of children. I know that life is often unfair or downright cruel. I know that bad things happen to good people. And I also know that we tend to shift blame and responsibility everyy chance we get. And I do not accept the argument of “It’s my body, so I’ll do what I want with it.” Wrong, girlfriend. When you get pregnant, it’s your body and someone else’s.

People have argued a long time about when life begins, but that’s a silly argument. Life begins when it does. Once a seed sprouts, it’s alive. Once an egg is fertilized, it’s alive. Sure, it takes time for that living thing to reach its potential, but the process has already begun.

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According to the Guttmacher Institute, over half of the unintended pregnancies recorded each year in America happen to those women who do not use contraception measures at all. What that means is that nearly half of the unwanted pregnancies happen to those women who are using contraception. Granted, the report shows that most of these pregnancies happen to women who aren’t using contraceptives correctly or consistently. Only 5% of the recorded unplanned pregnancies happened to women who use contraceptives correctly and consistently.

3,100,000 unplanned pregnancies made it into this report. 5% of 3.1mm means that contraception failed at least 155,000 times.

Not all of these children were aborted, but many of them were. The institute found that approximately 100,000 abortions take place every month across the nation. I don’t know of any other condition that kills as many people each year as “inconvenience.”

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There are definitely some legitimate uses of contraception. I’m not at all opposed to birth control that aims to prevent pregnancy. What I hate is birth control that ends a pregnancy. Abortion happens because we don’t want to be responsible for our actions. We don’t want to face the consequences. We like sex and don’t like the fact that it creates babies. So we’ll keep the fun part and get rid of the un-fun part.

If you have sex, you have to expect that a baby is a likely outcome. That’s a large part of the purpose behind sex, after all. Thinking that we can have sex (when we have fully-functional reproductive systems) but not have babies is madness. If you don’t want a baby, you have two choices: remove your reproductive organs or stop having sex. It’s your body. Make your choice.

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Now, what about the cases of rape or incest? The women harmed by these crimes have a significant amount of healing to do, and pregnancy can worsen that. I am not in anyway, shape, or form saying that these crimes are allowable. I am not justifying them or ignoring their severity. I am saying that one crime does not excuse another. I have great empathy for the women harmed by men and want justice for them. I also want justice for the children who are just as harmed by the sperm donors as their mothers were.

Babies who develop with physical or mental problems have just as much right to life as the healthiest specimens. I have a cousin born with Down Syndrome, and she graduated high school with honors, has held a steady job for several years, and is a joy to everyone who knows her. Yes, she still lives with her parents and no, she will not ever be truly independent. But she enjoys her life and enriches the lives of others. I once cared for a boy in a wheelchair who carried a small medical facility on his back. Despite the wires and tubes epand surgeries, he is a wonderful person who made my life better. He had fun learning and playing and interacting with other kids, most of whom saw him and not his chair. Why kill these kids just because they’ll never be brain surgeons?

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Children should not pay for our actions or inactions. Willfully terminating a pregnancy is an act of selfishness and blame-shifting. It is not the removal of a mass of tissues; it is the murder of a child. It is the taking of a life. If you can’t afford a baby right now, don’t have sex. If a baby would interfere with your schooling, don’t have sex. If you’re having problems with your significant other that a baby would worsen … you know what I’m going to say.

I believe that each person has the right and the responsibility to make decisions for her or his life. We need to be making well-considered choices for ourselves, and no one else can live our lives for us. We must all live by our decisions, and no one else can make them for us (unless, of course, there is genuine incapacity or inability). It is the choice of each adult to have sex or not have sex. It the choice of each adult whether or not to engage in activity that would create another life. But it is not our right to say “Oops” and end a life we didn’t want.

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So there you have my opinion. I think that abortion is wrong in nearly every case. I think that the solution is not pills, barriers, condoms, or spermicide but abstinence. I think that the solution requires greater strength of character than we’ve been showing. I think that we must stop killing babies just because they’re unwanted. If you don’t want a baby, then don’t make one.

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