Oh, the Humanity

As much as possible, I try to live at peace with others. I don’t seek out opportunities to get into fights, I ignore attempts to goad me, and I’m as encouraging as I can be.

But every now and again, my dander gets itself up and I start making waves. Today shall be one of those times.

I will say without hesitation or wavering that I am pro-life. The only two instances in which I would agree to an abortion are 1) if the baby is already dead or 2) the mother’s life is at real risk. That’s it. Not in cases of rape or incest, not in the case of physical or mental retardation, and certainly not in cases of inconvenience. No one should be forced to pay for someone else’s mistake.

If you’ve read any of my writing, then you know I care about the welfare of children. I know that life is often unfair or downright cruel. I know that bad things happen to good people. And I also know that we tend to shift blame and responsibility everyy chance we get. And I do not accept the argument of “It’s my body, so I’ll do what I want with it.” Wrong, girlfriend. When you get pregnant, it’s your body and someone else’s.

People have argued a long time about when life begins, but that’s a silly argument. Life begins when it does. Once a seed sprouts, it’s alive. Once an egg is fertilized, it’s alive. Sure, it takes time for that living thing to reach its potential, but the process has already begun.

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According to the Guttmacher Institute, over half of the unintended pregnancies recorded each year in America happen to those women who do not use contraception measures at all. What that means is that nearly half of the unwanted pregnancies happen to those women who are using contraception. Granted, the report shows that most of these pregnancies happen to women who aren’t using contraceptives correctly or consistently. Only 5% of the recorded unplanned pregnancies happened to women who use contraceptives correctly and consistently.

3,100,000 unplanned pregnancies made it into this report. 5% of 3.1mm means that contraception failed at least 155,000 times.

Not all of these children were aborted, but many of them were. The institute found that approximately 100,000 abortions take place every month across the nation. I don’t know of any other condition that kills as many people each year as “inconvenience.”

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There are definitely some legitimate uses of contraception. I’m not at all opposed to birth control that aims to prevent pregnancy. What I hate is birth control that ends a pregnancy. Abortion happens because we don’t want to be responsible for our actions. We don’t want to face the consequences. We like sex and don’t like the fact that it creates babies. So we’ll keep the fun part and get rid of the un-fun part.

If you have sex, you have to expect that a baby is a likely outcome. That’s a large part of the purpose behind sex, after all. Thinking that we can have sex (when we have fully-functional reproductive systems) but not have babies is madness. If you don’t want a baby, you have two choices: remove your reproductive organs or stop having sex. It’s your body. Make your choice.

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Now, what about the cases of rape or incest? The women harmed by these crimes have a significant amount of healing to do, and pregnancy can worsen that. I am not in anyway, shape, or form saying that these crimes are allowable. I am not justifying them or ignoring their severity. I am saying that one crime does not excuse another. I have great empathy for the women harmed by men and want justice for them. I also want justice for the children who are just as harmed by the sperm donors as their mothers were.

Babies who develop with physical or mental problems have just as much right to life as the healthiest specimens. I have a cousin born with Down Syndrome, and she graduated high school with honors, has held a steady job for several years, and is a joy to everyone who knows her. Yes, she still lives with her parents and no, she will not ever be truly independent. But she enjoys her life and enriches the lives of others. I once cared for a boy in a wheelchair who carried a small medical facility on his back. Despite the wires and tubes epand surgeries, he is a wonderful person who made my life better. He had fun learning and playing and interacting with other kids, most of whom saw him and not his chair. Why kill these kids just because they’ll never be brain surgeons?

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Children should not pay for our actions or inactions. Willfully terminating a pregnancy is an act of selfishness and blame-shifting. It is not the removal of a mass of tissues; it is the murder of a child. It is the taking of a life. If you can’t afford a baby right now, don’t have sex. If a baby would interfere with your schooling, don’t have sex. If you’re having problems with your significant other that a baby would worsen … you know what I’m going to say.

I believe that each person has the right and the responsibility to make decisions for her or his life. We need to be making well-considered choices for ourselves, and no one else can live our lives for us. We must all live by our decisions, and no one else can make them for us (unless, of course, there is genuine incapacity or inability). It is the choice of each adult to have sex or not have sex. It the choice of each adult whether or not to engage in activity that would create another life. But it is not our right to say “Oops” and end a life we didn’t want.

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So there you have my opinion. I think that abortion is wrong in nearly every case. I think that the solution is not pills, barriers, condoms, or spermicide but abstinence. I think that the solution requires greater strength of character than we’ve been showing. I think that we must stop killing babies just because they’re unwanted. If you don’t want a baby, then don’t make one.

Resistance is …

According to Dictionary.com, the word submit means:

1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).
2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.
3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.
4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually followed by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.
5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.
6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.
7. to defer to another’s judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment.

My personal experience adds:

8. To be required to yield control to another

But then, I seldom checked the dictionary when formulating my personal lexicon. Ask my mom about the “public hair” sometime.

So, what in your personal dictionary might benefit from a cross-reference?

Submission is not one of my favorite topics (no sniggering, please).  As mentioned above, I did not have the best understanding of the term. Yet as a disciple of Christ, I need to have a good understanding. As you might expect, life has not been fun on this front.

One of my difficulties stemmed from not understanding why I needed to submit to anyone or anything. After all, this is the 21st century! Submission is outdated and barbaric, a holdover from primitive days and patriarchal societies that have no place in modern life.

Well, as I’ve recently discovered, that’s not entirely true. Yes, the acts of suppression and repression we stereotype are not good, but that’s not what submission is and it doesn’t address the matter at all. One key element of the definition and application of “submission” that we (and I) overlook all too frequently is that it is a purposeful act, not a passive reception.

Let’s look at this another way. In current events, there are many political uprisings against governing regimes. Those in power exerted influence over the people and required obedience. In effect, they demand submission. For a long time, the people obeyed, but they did not submit. Do you see the difference?

Here’s another illustration: how many of us submit to the authority of gravity? When was the last time you deliberately challenged your dependency on oxygen? Anyone successfully overthrow inertia?

There are many natural laws that govern our lives, and most of them, believe it or not, are beneficial to not only our survival but our quality of living. Accepting the boundaries that gravity places around our lives is a good thing. Keeps you healthy. So does allowing oxygen to play its part in sustaining your life. Shoot, even inertia has some value. Since we recognize that operating within the rules of these natural laws has value, we submit to them.

What if other things also have positive value when we submit to them?

You may have heard the cliche: “Too many cooks spoil the soup” or “All chiefs and no Indians”. Both of these sayings show that someone has to be in charge and make the final decision. When there is no one person or means of making the ultimate call, you get anarchy. Disarray. A really snarled ball of yarn. You don’t have order, you don’t have completed tasks, and you don’t have a pleasant existence. It could be argued that a leader is a natural requirement.

My issue has always been the poor quality of leadership that I witnessed. I saw power-mad dictators crushing people. I saw societies regress and individuals vanish. I saw well-intentioned people attempt to bring order from chaos and end with blood in the streets. If that’s leadership, if that’s submitting to authority, thought I, then I want no part of it.

Weeeeeeelllllll …. no. That’s not submitting to authority. That’s abused power. I’ve had to drag my mind away from those tragic events and refocus on the core of the matter. For one thing, does one person’s abuse of oxygen (such as using it to blow up a building full of people) mean that all uses of oxygen should be set aside? Does the invention of aircraft invalidate gravity? Does the gross injustice perpetrated by a dictator require that all government be brought down?

Ok, so those are really big-picture questions and concepts. They’re great and wonderful, but my subconscious is rather self-centered and wants more relevant examples. Why should I submit to a boss who’s a jerk? Why should I, being female, submit to my spouse (if/when I get one)? Why should I give a flying flip about what my parents think and submit to their ideas of conduct and appearance?

We’ve covered a lot of the downsides of forced obedience, so now let’s look at the upsides of properly-done submission. In the big picture questions, submission to government allows that government to do what it’s supposed to do: take care of us. Make and enforce laws, create and maintain public roads and such, defend the town and country, etc. In the personal arena, submission to bosses, spouses, parents, teachers, etc., allows those people to play the role they need to in our lives.

Parents are given to us for life and upbringing; it’s their job to set us on the right path. If I spend all my time fighting them, I will never learn from them. Maybe what I learn is all the things not to do, but if I’m not submitting, I won’t learn that. And I certainly won’t pick up many good things!

Bosses are given to us to ensure that the work gets done. Having had a small amount of management experience, I can verify that needing to drag along employees who refuse to cooperate does not get the job done. When I stop fighting my boss, I free her to do what she’s supposed to do. Maybe she’s still a jerk, but at least I’m not contributing to the problem. And by being properly submissive, I may have the chance to improve things.

As for submitting in a romantic relationship … gah, this is a hard one for me. Honestly, I’m afraid of losing myself if I were to submit. All those negative things mentioned above run through my mind. I’ve seen so many relationships go badly, so many abuses of power on both sides, that the very idea is anathema to me.

And in far too many ways, I have the same trouble submitting to God. Will I lose my identity, my free will, if I submit to God? There are a lot of crazy people out there doing things in the name of God; what happens if …

Alright brain, step back from the paranoia. We’ve already established that abuses (even multiple) don’t negate the value or necessity of an authority. Also, just because one person (or many) in a position screw it up doesn’t mean that the position is bad. Just because people claim to be acting for God doesn’t mean that God is that way.

So Who is God and why should I submit to Him? Well, to start with, I am promised that if I make God my top priority, then everything else will fall in line. I’m also promised that I won’t ever be ditched. And that God has good plans for me. And that His way of doing things isn’t back-breaking. And my life is supposed to be full and fulfilling. And God wants to give me stuff.

Believe it or not, God created us because He wanted to. He wants to enjoy having us around. It’s like when I write a story: I write it because I want to see it, to experience it, to enjoy it. It’s like when you get to do a hobby or spend time with your children. It’s a deeply satisfying and meaningful time that you look forward to and long to savor. And in order to enjoy those things, there are certain rules that must be followed. If I don’t park myself in the chair and write, then the story will never unfold. If you don’t clear out your schedule, you’ll never have time for your hobby. If no one agrees to cooperate, then parent/child time will be very frustrating.

God considers Himself our Father. My Father. He set the rules, like gravity, oxygen, inertia, and submission. When I fight those rules, I wind up tripping, gasping, stuck, and frustrated. When I willingly and purposefully submit to those rules, I get to enjoy the life I was made to have.

Pride tells me that I have to be in charge. Fear tells me that I will be let down by others. Hate tells me that I should pay in kind.

The Voice of truth tells me something else. And I’m reminded that resistance is futile. But seriously, when you look at it this way, why would I not want to submit?

Raffle!

Hey! In case you didn’t know, one of my passions is to serve and lift up orphans in Zambia, Africa. I got to spend a week doing that last summer, and I’m hoping to spend two weeks there this summer.

To that end, I’m doing some fundraising. One thing is a raffle for a hand-made quilt featuring hand-dyed fabric from Zambia. This beautiful pattern was dyed using batik, or wax-based, method. The quilting (done by yours truly) is Hawaiian style, which follows the pattern rather than being a grid.

The finished piece will be suitable for use or display and will be more than a meter square. I will include a rod pocket in case the winner wishes to hang it up. It’s lightweight yet warm and will serve as a lovely lap cover on a chilly night.

Now, hand-quilting takes time, so it will be another 2-3 months before this is done. However, I wanted to give you a head’s up so you can be thinking about it. You may buy as many tickets as you want, and all proceeds will go to helping the kids. I will even ship the quilt internationally, if anyone overseas decides to participate.

Please be thinking about participating; when I get closer to finishing, I’ll put up the link to buy your tickets. Check back for new photos and details!